Taking that Breath

Most times I think about how rough each passing moment is. I grind relentlessly trying to strive for something that really didn't matter anyway. When I get to that point or don't, I start to reflect. It's almost become a ritual for me. I remember after Amy passed away and I thought to myself, "Think of all the time you wasted not actually experiencing the moment with her." and I look at myself now actually remembering these times again, seeing my kids getting older, and I'm right back at the same point thinking the same damn thing with my children.

I could make excuses why I continually get trapped in this repetetive cycle or grind. I could blame it on a thousand things. But, at the end of the day it's me... it's you. And taking that responsibility of realizing that is what makes you grow up... and you really never stop growing. Just like my children who I watch grow right in front of me. I looked at them today and I felt sad because I thought how fast they have grown up and I feel this lack of experience in knowing them as the people they are now.

The good thing is being aware of the true situation. It will guide you just by being in it. The rest is easy and in times like these the best advice I can give is just simply to breathe.